Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Learning The Art of Patience

At the beginning of the year I said to myself that '2009' was going to be a year of action, progress, and life-changing events. So far, little action, little progress, and zero life-changing events.
Today, I am worried about my reflections, which gets me thinking and makes me anxious. Yesterday I was freaking out internally, not physically. If you were to meet me you would have no idea that I was over anxious, thinking about twenty things at once, unsure about my life. On the outside, I am a calm, collected, cool guy who appears to have his life in order.
I chose the life that I am living. I chose to take risks with no guarantee of a successful financial return. I chose to begin my own business because there is no greater satisfaction than creating something from nothing and watching it grow, even at a minimal pace.
However, mind over matter is always more difficult. I forget that everything takes time. It has been nearly half a year and I continue to think "Should I be doing this?"
I find myself wanting the stability that I see others enjoy. I always wonder if I should attend a post grad course where the college helps you find a "placement" in a local company that may lead to a permanent position. Or should I attend Teacher's College and return to my roots where I spent twenty years of my life adapting to structure and step by step learning? Do I settle for an open position in an industry that is not appealing to me just so I feel like a success as I receive my steady paychecks?
I don't have a mortgage or car payments or a family, so I am lucky enough to be able to ask these questions and have the flexibility to make decisions on a short notice. However, these decisions are always difficult and I must remember that patience is an enormous virtue while in this situation.
I started what I started and I am going to stick with it. I receive advice from different people in the industry and they all say that things don't happen over night. I continue to keep hearing "years." I must continue to practice patience and allow life and my decisions to unroll as I hope. I can't give up and jump into something for the wrong reasons. If I stumble into unknown territory and decide that I like it than I may pursue it. But, I have to breathe, relax, and continue doing what I'm doing, and the gratification will present itself.
I'm happy, but I'm anxious. I'm doing what I want to be doing, but it's a struggle financially. I have to continue to think positively, take deep breaths and tell myself that everything will work out as long as I work hard.
But, if things do not progress, at what point do I give up?