Giving in to Doubt

At long last, the doubt that continued to creep in took over and won the battle despite the strong objections from the rest of my positive energy.
I thought doubt could be destroyed, but when it is this strong I guess there is no walking away from it. Instead, I had to walk away from the joy in my life - The one thing I did not want to walk away from. Though the weight of the incredible positive feelings far exceeds the doubt majority of the time, I believe that the doubt is much too overpowering and conniving to mess with. But now the regret of having doubt is a struggle and the ever infamous question of "What if?" will continue to haunt me for years.
I wish this doubt wasn't so strong and I'm sure it would have diminished later on, but for some reason I wanted to give into the negative at this point in time. I don't think it is a wise decision and I truly believe I will regret it, but I can't quite remove this doubt from my mind.
I want the doubt to leave and never return because I wish to return to what it is that brings me the most joy.

Do We Listen To Doubt?

I find I have doubt lingering within me during everything I do in life. I don't think there is one thing I go into without having doubt. Is it normal to have constant doubt? Can we be 100% sure of at least one thing in our lives? I don't know if doubt is a good sign or a constant distraction telling me to stop and get out of whatever it is I'm doing.
If I weigh all the good things against the bad things, the good things out weigh the the bad things. So, should I consider not listening to the negative and continue to think about the positive? Does the negative have to be present in order to keep you on your toes and your head grounded?
If I didn't have doubt I don't think I would try things in the first place. I believe second guessing myself pushes me to try harder and continue to pursue that which is meant to be.
For example, a relationship that has all the makings of something truly special. The excitement, fun, love, and compassion are all in full force. But, the doubt continues to come and go every so often. It is not constant doubt every day or every week, but it does fill my head every so often. This doubt has me questioning the seriousness of the relationship. Like I said, I am never 100% sure about anything I venture head first into. All the good things in the relationship far exceed the doubt which has me constantly thinking about what it is I should do.
Do I fight the doubt or should I give up and give in to the doubt? Everything is incredible except for this doubt that fills up inside me, but then vanishes when time goes on and I stop to think how much this person contributes to the happiness within my life. If one thing doesn't seem right, do I listen to it or do I gather the insurmountable positives and continue to think that his doubt is just a normal human characteristic so I don't get my head lost in the clouds? Everything worth having is worth fighting for.
Do I let go of the best thing that has happened to me because of "doubt"?
I sure hope not.

Learning The Art of Patience

At the beginning of the year I said to myself that '2009' was going to be a year of action, progress, and life-changing events. So far, little action, little progress, and zero life-changing events.
Today, I am worried about my reflections, which gets me thinking and makes me anxious. Yesterday I was freaking out internally, not physically. If you were to meet me you would have no idea that I was over anxious, thinking about twenty things at once, unsure about my life. On the outside, I am a calm, collected, cool guy who appears to have his life in order.
I chose the life that I am living. I chose to take risks with no guarantee of a successful financial return. I chose to begin my own business because there is no greater satisfaction than creating something from nothing and watching it grow, even at a minimal pace.
However, mind over matter is always more difficult. I forget that everything takes time. It has been nearly half a year and I continue to think "Should I be doing this?"
I find myself wanting the stability that I see others enjoy. I always wonder if I should attend a post grad course where the college helps you find a "placement" in a local company that may lead to a permanent position. Or should I attend Teacher's College and return to my roots where I spent twenty years of my life adapting to structure and step by step learning? Do I settle for an open position in an industry that is not appealing to me just so I feel like a success as I receive my steady paychecks?
I don't have a mortgage or car payments or a family, so I am lucky enough to be able to ask these questions and have the flexibility to make decisions on a short notice. However, these decisions are always difficult and I must remember that patience is an enormous virtue while in this situation.
I started what I started and I am going to stick with it. I receive advice from different people in the industry and they all say that things don't happen over night. I continue to keep hearing "years." I must continue to practice patience and allow life and my decisions to unroll as I hope. I can't give up and jump into something for the wrong reasons. If I stumble into unknown territory and decide that I like it than I may pursue it. But, I have to breathe, relax, and continue doing what I'm doing, and the gratification will present itself.
I'm happy, but I'm anxious. I'm doing what I want to be doing, but it's a struggle financially. I have to continue to think positively, take deep breaths and tell myself that everything will work out as long as I work hard.
But, if things do not progress, at what point do I give up?